Gov't To The Rescue

Nothing makes me laugh more than the SHEEPLE crying and whining for the gov't to save them from their own irresponsibilty and laziness. In the latest episode of the Superhero Gov't comes from CBS today. Let's see what this episode is about. My comments as always are in brackets:

Upon returning to the White House from his two-day bus tour through Ohio and Pennsylvania Friday, President Obama took to the East Room to sign legislation that will prevent the doubling of interest rates on new student loans[FUCKING LAZY FUCKERS! STOP TAKING OUT LOANS THAT YOU STUPID THUNDERCUNTS KNOW YOU CAN'T PAY BACK! FUCK THAT BOILS MY BLOOD REAL BAD!!! THEIR IRRESPONSIBLE BORROWING IS THE CAUSE OF THE INTEREST RATES DOUBLING. FUCKING STUPID CUMDUMPSTERS!!!]. The law also authorizes $100 billion in highway and transportation spending over the next two years, which backers estimate will save or create 2.8 million jobs[I LOVE HOW THE GOV'T JUST COMES UP WITH BS NUMBERS AND THE STUPID MASSES BELIEVE THEM. OMG 2.8 MILLION?!!!! THAT'S ALOT, SO IT MUST BE GOOD LMFAO!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO BE PROCESSED AND THROWN IN THE EASY BAKE OVENS!], mostly in construction. [LMFAO JUST CONSTRUCTION BITCHES, SO NO NEW JOBS FOR THE BABY MAKERS OUT THERE LOL! HOPE YOU BREEDERS NEVER GET ANYMORE JOBS AND YOU JUST DIE OFF!]

Mr. Obama signed the law surrounded by construction workers and college students[THE PRESIDENT IS A FUCKIN' PIMP, MAKE THIS IRRELEVANT BILL SIGNING SEEM LEGIT BY HAVING THESE STINKY FUCKERS STAND AROUND HIM, HAHAHA SUCH A BAWSH!] as well as members of Congress and other elected officials. The president had been pressing Congress to take action for months.

"These steps will make a real difference in the lives of millions of Americans," he said shortly before signing the bill. [LMFAO HE SAID WITH A STRAIGHT FACE TOO! HE KNOWS THIS COUNTRY AIN'T GONNA GET BETTER, JUST KEEP ON LYING TO THESE IDIOT MONGRELS. THEY WANT TO BE LIED TOO, EVEN BETTER THEY CRAVE DISHONESTY. IT'S THE ONLY WAY THEY KEEP ELECTING THESE LYING PEOPLE INTO OFFICE. TO BE A POLITICIAN ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS LIE WITH A STRAIGHT FACE. I LOVE THAT THEY KEEP VOTING FOR THEM, THEN WHEN THE ELECTED OFFICIAL FUCKS THEM OVER, THEY GET ALL MAD AND SHIT! SUCH ILLOGICAL BS FROM THE WANTON MASSES OUT THERE! BUT HEY, THEY'LL BE GONE TOO, CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT SHIT!]

The bill passed Congress overwhelmingly last week after a contentious fight[ALL JUST THEATRE. EVERYBODY IN CONGRESS IS DOWN WITH EACH OTHER. IT'S ONE BIG FRATERNITY DUH! JUST PRETEND TO FIGHT TO KEEP THE IDIOT AMERICANS DISTRACTED FROM THE REAL CAUSE AT HAND, AND BOOM, THEY THINK IT'S REAL. WE GOT REPUBLICANS, DEMOCRATS, LIBERALS, CONSERVATIVE, ETC ETC. IT'S ALL AN ILLUSION, THEY DON'T IDENTIFY WITH THOSE STUPID MAN-CREATED LABELS, ONLY THE SHEEPLE DO! THAY'S WHY THEY GET MAD WHEN ONE OF THIER CONSTIUNETS THEM DOESN'T DO WHAT THE "PARTY" IS SUPPOSED TO DO! EVERY MEMBER IN CONGRESS HANGS OUT AT EACH OTHER'S HOUSE ON THE WEEKEND DRINKING WINE AND LAUGHING AT HOW STUPID THE SHEEPLE ARE TO NOT SEE THROUGH THEIR LITTLE FAUX PAS LOL!] in Congress. Republicans eventually gave up their push for the bill to require approval of the Keystone XL oil pipeline, the Associated Press reported, while Democrats agreed not to include certain environmental protections and biking and safety programs. [MORE IRRELEVANT FLUFF!]

"My hope is that this bipartisan spirit spills over into the next phase, that we can start putting more construction workers back to work[LOL YEAH GOOD ONE MR. PREZ!]...as well as making sure that now that we've prevented a doubling of student loan rates[ONLY A MATTER OF TIME TILL THOSE RATES QUADRUPLE. AT THE RATE THESE ASSHOLE COLLEGE FUCKS BORROW, I'M SURPRISED IT HASN'T HAPPENED ALREADY JEEZ. THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO LEARN THEIR LESSON EVER! SO, JUST EXPLOIT THESE STUPID FUCKS FOR ALL THEIR WOOL.], we actually start doing more to reduce the debt burden that young Americans experience[HAHAHA THEY'RE STILL GOING TO BE IN DEBT LMAO, THAT'S WHAT PIMP OBAMA DIDN'T SAY. YEAH OK THE INTEREST RATES DON'T GO UP BUT THEY'RE STILL PAYING FOR THAT TUITION EACH YEAR, AND THE INTEREST AS WELL LOL, SUCH A PIMP MR OBAMA.]," Mr. Obama said Friday before signing the bill.

CBS News' Mark Knoller reports that the measure was the 508th bill signed into law by Mr. Obama since taking office[DAMN MR. PIMP, USE THAT PIMP PEN OF YOURS TO BRING DOWN THE MASSES!!!]. The Friday event marked his 35th formal bill-signing ceremony.

And there you have it viewers. The latest and greatest episode of Superhero GoV'T, join us next time, when the masses whine and moan and Mr. Obama comes and save them YET AGAIN!

-Will